Highlighting what’s right builds up, rather than tears down. Constant criticism diminishes self-esteem. This is why verbal and emotional abuse can be so damaging.
No one wants to start or end their day with a laundry list of complaints. Take time to appreciate what’s going right in the relationship.
Make it a habit of complimenting each other on something besides physical appearance. Build up each other’s confidence. Point out noteworthy or small tokens of appreciation.
Take the time to show gratitude. When people feel good, they want to share that feeling with others.
Listen
If we spoke less and listened more, it would eliminate many of our communication problems. However, humans are conditioned to listen with the intent to respond.
When was the last time you listened attentively to your significant other?
Do you listen and then try to solve a problem?
Do you listen and then offer advice?
Do you listen and then criticize or belittle?
Do you listen and then self-reference?
When you listen, it builds trust. Your significant other feels understood and will share more with you over time.
The next time you see your significant other in a contemplative state, tell them you’re available to listen.
Let Go Of Emotional Baggage
It’s time to unpack your emotional baggage. You can not undo the past. Bringing past pain into a present relationship is like mixing dirty clothes with laundered clothes.
The old emotions need to be resolved before you can be yourself in your current relationship.
Emotional baggage contributes to insecurities, poor judgment, cynicism and indecisiveness. Trying to protect your feelings will hinder your freedom and growth.
Think about why you continue to allow yourself to suffer with this pain?
Is there someone you need to forgive?
Are you carrying around resentment and guilt?
Talk about the situation with your significant other, so they can have a better understanding of what you are going through.
If the pain is too unbearable, seek professional help together or alone.
About the Author: Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with moms, teens, and college students and helps them empower themselves to get from where they are to where they want to be in life. You can find her on the web at http://www.smartbeecoaching.com
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