The spouse with the career may say at times, "Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.".
The spouse who stays home with the children (child) may say at times,
"You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself".
If the spouse that stays home feels like the spouse with the career enjoys being out and working more than being home, that calls for a whole different and escalated level of concern!
Chances are the sexless marriage was bound to be that way before the current situation even arose. Sexless Marriage:
"I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!":
This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc.
Get the spark back in your relationship
In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way.
Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.
Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?
Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage, and both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time.
It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled.
If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.
Whatever type of sexless marriage you are in (there's certainly more types than listed here), remember that it is not unrecoverable.
If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your sexless marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.
If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred.
If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc.
From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it.
When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage.
Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.
About the Author:
© Karl Augustine, 2004, "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", Sexless Marriage, Deciding On Divorce