Essence of Infidelity
a woman’s body are responsive to erotic touch. It’s different for every woman (man too). So here’s what happens.
Women get pregnant.
Pregnancy creates enormous changes in a woman’s body and physiology, which at times do not make sex appealing.
Women become mothers.
Parenting, especially mothering is a 24-hour job, which includes massive sleep deprivation, and instincts, which consume even the most, prepared. Generally, both men and women have jobs, which consume time and energy.
Women also feel responsible for the upkeep of the home. Not that men do not, but somehow for a woman five million years of homemaking has become instinctual.
So what does this entire story mean?
It means life gets in the way of relationship and unless some time and energy is devoted to the relationship as an entity, that state of “in love” that everyone marries into will disintegrate.
There are exceptions, but generally speaking most people do not intend to cheat on their spouse after the wedding nor do they intentionally pursue an affair. So here is how an affair begins.
One or the other partner is not getting his/her needs met for whatever reasons. That person encounters someone at work, or at a party, or in the neighborhood, who notices him/her and sees something that attracts.
There is nothing like a flirtation to restore a sense of self-esteem. Initially, the married person resists but enjoys the attention.
That person then goes home to his/her spouse and hints that he/she needs more attention.
The spouse at home who assumes that because they are married, everything is great and there is always time for taking care of the spouse later, ignores the hint.
That, my friends, is the beginning of the affair. When one partner seeks emotional or physical or intellectual support from someone of the opposite sex outside of the marriage, the seeds have been shown.
The marriage is taken for granted.
The almighty wedding ring is supposed to be able to bind people to their vows automatically.
This is the false presumption that leads us to the incorrigible statistic that 80% of marriages are affected by infidelity. Marriage doesn’t work by itself.
It takes two people who pay attention to each other’s needs. It takes two people who believe in each other and validate each other.
It takes two people who want to love each other and who continually