This is a continuation of part one of this article which covered aspects such as communication, paying attention, affection and staying connected.
We will continue to explore some of the underlying reasons why many married couples seem to be drifting apart and offer suggestions how to prevent or minimize these pitfalls. Being aware of the marital problems and actively working to avoid them can help restore or saved a marriage in trouble.
6. Lack of understanding.
A lot of the frustration between married couples arises because one partner feels the other just doesn’t understand them. But maybe they would understand if the situation was communicated to them better. It may be clear to you but it really needs to be clear to them.
Explain the problem in a different way and give them a chance. Don’t be vague and if you have to, break it down in smaller components.
It may take longer for them to understand. Have them repeat the scenario in their own words so that they can translate it into something they can understand.
If they want to work the problem out with you, then a solution will be found and met.
7. No teamwork.
A marriage is the union of two people working together towards one main goal- to be happy with each other.
There are plenty of times when you two are not physically together but there still needs to be a mutual connection so your marriage can run smoothly.
Teamwork depends on communication; letting the other person know what you’re doing to keep up your end of the deal.
A simple message telling the other person that you took care of the bills this month or went grocery shopping let’s them know that they don’t need to worry about those issues.
In this two-person team, each individual has their own responsibilities to tend to. If each side pulls through, the stress levels will not be so high and you can move on to the next matter.
It’s like rowing; if only one side of the boat is paddling, you’ll continue to go in circles and you’ll never reach your destination.
8. Little compromise.
When you’re single in this world, it’s every man for him self. But in a marriage, it’s crucial to have some “give and take.” Somebody has to cook or clean or pick up the kids, that’s a given.
But if time, effort, and energy allows for it, go the extra mile and offer to do or help with one of your spouse’s duties, especially if you can tell their energy level is low.
You may end up putting a great deal of effort into the task but the outcome will exceed the energy exerted. Your spouse will see and appreciate your deed and will want to repay you when your energy level is low. As far as arguing goes, pick your battles.
If you can tell your partner feels strongly about a certain issue, a suggestion would be to back down.
However, if you feel strongly on the opposing subject, try negotiating a deal out where both of you are happy. If you give a little, an understanding partner will give as much as you.