The fall from friendship to disillusionment usually begins 2-3 years after marriage. Folks often are bewildered, saying, "What happened?"

My wife and I can tell you from experience, both personal and professional, that a big part of what happens is what doesn't happen after that first year or two together.

Once you feel you know all there is to know about your partner, conversations slow down and become more challenging. You stop asking questions, or you stop giving meaningful answers.

This is when the "work" of marriage begins. It takes effort and interest to continue to ask, even when you think you already know the answer!

The great part is that you are not static, unchanging individuals. Your interests change as well as friendships; some friendships fade away and other new ones begin and flourish. New hobbies are discovered. Children may be added to make a family.

Now the center of the relationship revolves around the babies. Babies teach you things you could have never learned had they not come along. You experience a new level of sacrifice, sleep for one!

And you discover how you thought about parenting may really be different than how you are actually doing it.

See, you are always in a state of growth. The same questions asked today may bring fresh responses as you each grow.

Continue to build your relationship into one of the best friendships you have. I may call it "work" but it's the best work you can do for the happiness of the relationship.

About the Author:
Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW is an author, university faculty member, success coach and veteran psychotherapist whose passion is guiding others to their own success in life. For weekly doses of the webs HOTTEST success tips, sign up for Dave’s powerful “Feeling Great!” ezine at http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com

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