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Is This Love? How Can You Know?
by Avalon De Witt

Can you communicate about your disagreements lovingly? Can you "fight fair?"

Love can step out of its comfort zone in order to address the differences in a relationship without harming it. Some of us have been taught that if you love someone you'll never disagree, never be angry or argue. Real love encompasses all the emotions.

The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. And it's possible to be angry with, and even hate someone that you love. A healthy love relationship will allow you to express anger.

4. Do you care about the other person's, dreams goals and plans? Do you desire his or her success? To love is to be actively involved with a person's spiritual purpose. It is the choice to give support, nurturing and encouragement to your beloved's spiritual growth and attainment.

Real love seeks what is best for others and makes us want to encourage them to grow.

It considers the other person's happiness and well-being. With true love, your partner's well-being is just as important to you as your own and you take actions to nurture that sense of well-being.

5. Can you see yourself going through the mundane motions of life and growing old with your partner?

Infatuation is attraction, admiration, adoration... and is mainly based on physical, or chemical connection, while real love is based on spiritual connection - a common spiritual understanding and shared purpose.

It wouldn't matter if your lover lost a leg, gained 300 lbs. or got burned in a fire. With true love, you are attracted to much more than just the physical. You are attracted to the soul of the person. You want to see into your beloved's heart as much as you want to touch him or her physically.

6. Do you feel good about yourself without your partner's validation? Infatuation depends on others for validation.

When you truly love someone, you have a genuine sense of security, confidence, self-reliance and self-respect.

Life is complete with or without your beloved. You're aware that you and your partner have different gifts. You approve of yourself just as much as you approve of your partner. You take responsibility for your own life and you allow your partner to take responsibility for his or her own life. You can feel complete without your partner.

7. Are you able to give as well as receive?

True love makes giving of yourself to the other person as easy and as fulfilling as getting something back. The relationship is much more than what you are getting out of it.

The give and take are shared. Infatuation is want, need, but real love is abundant and fulfilling. When we are fulfilled, we find it easy to give. We can give even as we are receiving, by utilizing what the other has to offer for our own spiritual growth.


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