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Kissing Connectivity: Keeping your relationship HOT
by Edel Jarboe

 

The Passionate Kiss

You can't wait to feel and touch each other. Your mouths and hands are busy, your hearts are pounding, and you can literally see sparks fly.  Passion is a wonderful thing.  It makes us feel more alive, more connected to our partner. 

But, realistically, one cannot expect passion in every kiss.  Kisses can range from slow, sweet ones to urgent, fiery ones.  Moreover, it us unrealistic to expect passion every single day of our lives.

How many times in books, the movies, and in real life has it been proven that a relationship built on Passion alone cannot survive?

Without a deep, emotional connection between two people, a lasting Love cannot thrive.  And by lasting Love, I mean one that can withstand the ups and downs of every day life. 

Factors like compatibility, similar values and goals, mutual respect, trust, and friendship should be weighed alongside physical attraction. A passion that feeds on itself will eventually burn out. Are you and your partner in a romantic rut?

Have your kisses with your partner lost their zing lately? Don't throw in the towel just yet.  As your relationship continues to grow, continue to grow the passion. 

If you and your partner concentrate on feeling an emotional connection with each other, you will make a Passionate connection as well.  "For couples who have been [together] for some time, kissing isn't as exciting as it was when you first started dating," says Dr. Leslie Parrott.

"But you need to continue to make kissing a priority," she continues. "Passionate kissing is great but one of the goals of kissing is to stay connected."

The Perfunctory Kiss

"Bye, Honey. Have a nice day," we say with a quick peck on the lips as we leave in the morning to start our workday. It's part of the routine. Just one more thing to do on our way out the door. Often, once the days of courtship are over, couples tend to fall into a

routine, which is anything but romantic

A kiss can communicate so much. Love, Tenderness, Passion, and devotion, to name just a few.  It can also serves as a barometer of a relationship.  "Because kissing is a part of the daily interaction a couple shares. 

It can send spontaneous and frequent signs of affection and love," Dr. Parrott states.  In the early stages, we kiss our partners a lot because we need the reassurance that a kiss can bring. 

Once we are settled into a relationship, we need less reassurance because we feel more secure in our partner's love.  But, as time goes on, there is the danger that a couple will stop expressing their love with kisses.

The kisses start to taper off.  You only kiss hello or good bye or while making love. The love that is between you, while cherished, is not something that you think about anymore. It is just there. Sometimes spoken, sometimes not. 

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