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What am I doing with YOU, Anyway?
by Neva Howell

Why do we choose the relationships we choose?

Relationship deja vu . . . Do you ever feel like you married your mother? Your father? Your own dark side?

Does it feel like deja vu all over again, when you see your Grandmother's stern glare or your brother's bullying stance, overlay the face of your partner?

Maybe you don't recognize those faces from your past yet. Maybe you are only aware that no one on earth (with the exception of members of your immediate family) can push your emotional hot buttons quite as quickly or intensely as your most intimate relationship.

If you look closely, and you are able to short-circuit the emotional roller-coaster of action-reaction long enough, you will probably see another face pop out, just like one of those 3-D pictures.

The truth, as I see it, is that our most intimate relationships are those that most closely mirror either our own most challenging aspects of personality (the parts of ourselves that we try not to own), and/or the aspects of one or more of our core family group.

We unconsciously choose these mirrors because our Soul knows that these unresolved issues from our past are the very issues that keep us from progressing and growing. Our closest relationships offer us wonderful opportunities for spiritual growth, sharing, learning and healing the past.

When two people come together with spiritual awareness that enables them to fully know and expect that each will trigger the other into looking at challenges that impede growth and acceleration, and when each is fully committed to healing themselves, the relationship can be a catalyst for transformation in both.

On the other hand, if the ego maintains control, relationships deteriorate into battles of will which can distract both people from their spiritual path for years, or even for life. Intimate relationships, in particular those involving a commitment of marriage, require a great deal of personal honesty to work to the highest potential.

Since it is difficult for many of us to completely trust another human being, to the extent that we can allow ourselves to be completely vulnerable, the relationship becomes a symbol of our relationship to God.

I believe that the extent to which we can merge with another is an exact indication of the extent to which we can merge with God. In developing trust, respect, honor, and faith with another human being, we are working out a deeper relationship with God force.

If you can consider the idea that relationships are mirrors, and that part of the responsibility of being in one is to clear and heal past hurts, release limiting beliefs based on past experience, and open the heart that has been closed by past damage,

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