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Older Woman, Younger Man
by Kay Kopit

My husband & I have been happily married for 17 years. What makes our relationship unique is that Bryan was born in 1960 the year after I graduated high school. He is 19 years my junior; I am older than his mother.

The secret of our success is a deeply committed love for one another. Ours is a passionate romance. Each of us is whole, happy & healthy. Bryan & I have a love that keeps my spirit young.

I am sharing our story to give older women hope that they too can find peace & love with a younger man. We met in 1985 during a rainy winter in San Francisco. We were neighbors on a tiny street near the historic Mission Dolores.

The worst storm of the season was on its way & my roof was leaking profusely. I was in dire straits financially, having been newly divorced. I was preparing to fix it myself. Unfortunately my ladder wasn’t tall enough.

I needed help. None of the folks I knew were home that Saturday morning but I noticed an open door directly across from my house.

I hurried upstairs to the second story flat in the azure painted duplex & walked down the long corridor to the living room. There on the sofa was a guy watching the football game on T.V.

I introduced myself & then proceeded to ask for his assistance. He looked at me like I was crazy. The silence was deafening. How often does a stranger enter your apartment with a request for help with a major repair?

I was flushed with embarrassment but was in too deep to recover. Fortunately he agreed to help me. 

This uncommon beginning signaled the magic that lay before us. The sparks flew. We went on our first date within days of this meeting.

Bryan’s car was broken so we took the bus across the city to an authentic Moroccan restaurant where we sat on paisley cushions & ate with our fingers.

I remember clearly how primitive this felt & how natural it was to be with him. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned about my age. I, on the other hand, was more sensitive. I was healing from a codependent relationship of 12 years & had never experienced true intimacy. 

I wasn’t sure it was the proper thing to do but I couldn’t help myself; I was falling in love. I was scared because these feelings were coming so quickly.

Bryan moved in with me within weeks of our first meeting. I remember thinking if it didn’t work out it would be easy to ask him to leave because all he owned was a T.V. 

For Valentine’s Day he created a hanging wire mobile in the shape of intertwined hearts & presented it to me with flowers & chocolate. 

(2) This type of thoughtful gesture is typical of Bryan. 

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