by Cindy Morus
Money can wreck a relationship. In fact, how they spend, save, and account for money is one of the leading sources of disagreements between couples.
In almost every study, money ranks as the first or second most argued-about topic for couples and partners. If you currently suffer from “Marital Money Chaos©” you can follow these secrets and achieve more financial success together than you ever could have dreamed.
If the two of you can improve your relationship with money, you will also improve your marriage. Money can be romantic!
Secret #1: Know your spending style and your partners’
How many of you are married to your “Financial Soul Mate”?
The most common spending styles are Spenders and Savers but there are also the Procrastinators/Avoiders/Deal with it Tomorrow types and the Money Meek/Humble/ personalities.
What are the benefits/good things about each style? What are the things you call your partner when you fight about money?
Find ways in which you can take advantage of your personality strengths and minimize the weaknesses of that style. In the best possible scenario, you will both acknowledge your differences and move to the middle.
Secret #2: Values Driven Spending
Values are different than goals.
Values: Creativity, Freedom, Friendship, Financial Security Goals: Be debt free, get a new car, and give more to charity. Take some time to choose your top 5 values and define each of them in your own words. Share the definitions and use them to understand your partner and what is important to them.
If your partner’s money behavior confuses you, ask which value they are satisfying.
They may be doing their best, but their definition is different than yours. If you both use the same value word but have different meanings, you’ll have conflict.
Secret #3: Have regular Money Meetings or Money Dates!
How many of you think that money is romantic? Actually, since couples fight more about money than anything else (it is estimated that 80% of divorces are the result of money disagreements), having an honest talk about household finances might be better for your relationship than anything else you can do!
Financial well-being and peace of mind are certainly romantic!
It doesn’t matter how much money people have, money is a daily event. That increases the chance of it triggering arguments and tension. Use regular meetings as a way to avoid conflict.
