You get the idea. You can add statements that are specific for you as long as they are not accusations and they express your feelings about the situation and your relationship. The goal is to get to the tiniest resentments and hurts that you have stored up for however long you two have been together.
Obviously if you have been married for a long time and have never done anything like this, it might be difficult to get every little thing the first time through and you may have to repeat this more than once or get someone to guide you through the process.
once you have completed your writing , you are going to share the contents of your writing with your partner.
The rules for sharing are as follows:
Only one of you may speak at a time.
The person sharing cannot elaborate.
The person listening cannot comment except to say thank you.
Once you have shared all of this information, release it and completely let go of your feelings about all of it.
The outcome which is desired by completing this process is cleansing and release.
The next part of the process involves revitalizing and restoring your passion.
Take time to write extensive endings to the following statements:
I forgive you completely for …..
I appreciate your…
I thank you for …..
I want you to….
You turn me on when…..
I get excited about….
I acknowledge your….
I am proud of you because….
I cherish you for….
I love you because….
I want to be with you because…
Repeat steps 5,6,7,and 8
The outcome which is desired by this process is attraction and revitalization of your love.
Note: When you are done with this exercise, if you don’t feel like you just met and fell in love, you are not done and you would benefit from more of the same.
Once you have completed your serious spring cleaning, it is then important to maintain this level of communication. You can accomplish this by daily, weekly or whenever necessary withhold sessions, shorter but similar to the above.
If you know that your partner loves and respects you and considers your relationship a sacred trust, you can willingly sustain such vulnerability.
As you practice this level of trust with each other, it becomes easier to notice when something occurs that violates your bond.