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The Soul Mate Debate - Are Soul Mates Found, Or Created?
by Rinatta Paries

Are you looking or waiting for your soul mate?

Many singles spend a lot of energy & time waiting & searching for their soul mate.

But are soul mates found or created?

The notion of soul mates stems from the concepts of reincarnation & karma. Soul mates are defined as two souls reincarnating alongside each other over & over again, playing different roles to each other, such as lovers, adversaries, parent & child, victim & murderer, coworkers, etc.

Some will argue soul mates were separated at the beginning of time, and so in each lifetime they seek to reunite in some way.

If you were to find your soul mate, the theory is you would be able to instantly recognize him or her. You would feel connected, at home, recognized, valued, loved again, instantly. The two of you will reconnect, fall in love all over again & live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, this is not quite how the soul mate thing works. Here are some sobering thoughts about the notion of soul mates:

Each of us could have an unlimited number of soul mates. We have many close relationships in a lifetime, so who is to say any one or all of them could be our soul mates?

Intimate relationships with soul mates are less likely to work out. That's because if someone is truly your soul mate, you have been around the block with each other too many times in too many different ways. Along with intense passion for each other, you will also feel intense anger & resentment.

If you instantly recognize or feel connected to someone, does that automatically mean he or she is your soul mate? It could be that this person simply has very similar childhood family patterns or adult dating patterns as you do, allowing you to feel instantly at home.

If you immediately recognize someone who was a lover in one past life & an adversary in another, how likely is an intimate relationship between the two of you to work out?

The idea that soul mates will find & instantly recognize each other presumes past life memories are at the surface & can be tapped into at any time.

Do you remember your past lives, especially if you do not believe in past lives & reincarnation?

Because of the points above, I think those who say they are looking or waiting for their soul mate really mean they are looking or waiting for someone with whom love, relationship, & intimacy will happen instantly.

Unfortunately, as I said, this very rarely has a happy ending. Relationships are not about instant gratification & instantly knowing whether you are "meant to be" with someone. A healthier, more realistic, & more successful notion is one where you & your partner grow to become "soul mates."

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