When you think about the qualities found in a true love chemistry myth reality "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list?
Is it CHEMISTRY?
Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings & images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship .
It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited & weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races & the body tingles with nervous anticipation.
It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry.
Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal & lasting relationship.
For this definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities & worldview
In order to know you have the right connection with a potential (or existing) partner, it's important to have a basic knowledge of what real chemistry consists of, instead of embracing only the myths that surround it.
This can be difficult to do.
This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies & best-selling books are made of.
So, take a step back for a minute & see if you recognize yourself in the following.
Sarah is a thirty something, very attractive & successful, professional female.
She has been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is unfaithful, disrespectful & incapable (unwilling) to make any commitment to her.
Yet, when he makes late night "booty calls", forgets her birthday, or stands her up repeatedly - she remains available & willing, in spite of her general unhappiness & upset over their "relationship".
"I think I have mistaken great sex for love. I feel this intense chemistry & physical intimacy when we are having sex, even though he offers me nothing else.
Over time, it has left me unhappy & feeling badly about myself."
John is an attractive, intelligent, 30 something male who owns his own successful business. He's dating a woman that he thinks he is in love with.
He has knowledge that she has been out with other men. She cancels dates and is often critical & emotionally distant.
She refuses to discuss commitment or taking the relationship to the next level.
Yet, she turns to John for emotional, physical & financial help whenever she feels she needs it.
Why does John continue to see her?