Then, down the road, comes the exclamation ‘If I had only known...’.
As a Psychotherapist who has worked with mostly women & a few men in the field of Domestic Violence, during counseling sessions we can always trace back unpleasant & also dangerous character traits to the very start of the relationship.
Here are some ‘Red Flags’ to watch out for in a new partner.
1) He makes decisions about where to go with little or no input from you.
2) He belittles your opinion when the two of you are alone & may call you names.
3) He makes disparaging remarks about you in front of others & may talk about you as if you were not there.
4) He may be rough during love-making & make you engage in acts you do not like.
5) He does not want to spend time with your friends or family & insists you socialize with his people.
6) He will not acknowledge your areas of expertise & may put down what you do in the workplace - ignore any of your accomplishments.
7) He may openly flirt with other women & then accuse you of being jealous when you object.
8) He gets angry & loses his temper over trivialities.
Stays angry for a long time & attempts to blame all arguments on you.
9) May hit walls when angry.
10) One of the main factors is that he comes on very strong in the beginning of your relationship - sweeps you off your feet - & wants an exclusive relationship too quickly.
Many women feel flattered at the intensity of the man’s seeming need for an immediate connection & consequently overlook the inappropriateness of it.
*This should not be confused with ‘love at first sight’ where one or both parties feel an instant connection - without any of the before mentioned behaviors.*
There are many other factors that could be listed - but if the man in your life begins displaying the above qualities - realize it will not get better, only worse.
He will likely be unwilling to discuss his emotions openly & feel that women are the inferior sex.
If this describes your man, run - do not walk - out of his life.
The next step will likely be physical abuse.
About the Author:
Terri Arnold, MS (Spicy Grandma) has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She has owned and operated a brick and mortar dating service and has also counseled female victims of domestic violence, helping them to regain their self esteem and lead happy and productive lives. She now invites you to visit her friendly, interactive and informative 50+ dating community at http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com
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