The hallmark of this pitfall is when one partner is unwilling to discuss certain issues and they either avoid the discussion altogether or withdraw verbally or physically. This leaves the other partner to tiptoe around them because they are afraid of risking anger, withdrawal, or avoidance.
When the discussion is curtailed indefinitely so is the relationship. In order for a relationship to grow, you have to be able to talk about the good, the bad, the ugly, and even the painful truth.
In other words, make honesty, expressing your feelings, and sharing ideas a priority because sharing the good times and the bad times deepens and strengthens your relationship. And you want this to happen, right?
3. Lack of Respect
Take the woman who gives her husband the silent treatment and withholds her affection until he gives into her demands -- whether it is canceling a trip, buying a new car, or having a baby.
This is definitely not the way to go if you want both your sweetie's cooperation and their lasting affection on a long-term basis.
When you control your partner by constantly harassing them, withholding your love, and issuing ultimatums you are demonstrating that your needs and desires come before your love for them.
Who's going to stick around for this type of treatment? In short, avoid controlling behavior in a relationship. Just because you have pledged your Love for someone does not give you the right to run his or her life.
Even though the person pulling the strings may think they're winning, ultimately, it is the relationship that loses out.
In the same vein, when one partner puts the other person down or constantly second-guesses them, whether it is intentional or not, they are chipping away at their partner's self-esteem. When you invalidate your partner, you are effectively telling them that they don't matter.
As a result, the victim of this type of behavior will start to cover up who they are and what they think in order to protect his or her self-esteem.
Sadly, this is another example of a one-sided relationship where one partner holds all the emotional cards. And this is a sure-fire recipe for relationship disaster.
After being with someone for a while, we know what buttons to push to make the other person feel bad about themselves.
Yes, you have this power but if you want a healthy, Loving, and Lasting relationship, you will keep the door to this arsenal securely locked.
Always ask yourself how you would feel if someone spoke to you the way you are speaking to your significant other.
Hold back on insults, put-downs, as well as non-verbal body language that convey disgust, mockery, or disbelief such as rolling your eyes.
In other words, avoid (non) verbally striking your mate. Instead, focus on building each other's self-esteem, not destroying it. And when you do this, you build a healthier, happier relationship.
Note: If you recognize any of these danger signs in your relationship, please seek couples counseling.
About the Author:
Edel Jarboe is the founder of Self Help for Her.com (http://www.selfhelpforher.com), an online self-help magazine helping you create your better life. She also publishes a free weekly newsletter, which features advice on goal setting, stress management, coping with difficult people, and overcoming obstacles: Subscribe (firstname.lastname@example.org) and receive a FREE stress report.