Loving Without Losing Yourself!
Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes.
You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.
If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, are you the same partner? Do you give that which you seek in your relationship?
Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway.
Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection and getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before. Maybe you “chickened-out.” Next time, don’t be a chicken!
If you are in a relationship of love, here is a universal truth:
Love is choice and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other.
Put your fears and your past behind you and become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself. Surrendering to love does not mean losing yourself.
Yet, even when it is safe to open your heart, you may feel weakened by the anxiety that this love will disappear.
When in love, how do you preserve your identity and course in life? Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship:
Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! Your misguided belief leads you to counterproductive efforts to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it:
·You modify your identity to gain approval and love from your partner.
· You hold back intimacy to protect your vulnerability.
· You have a need to manipulate your partner.
There is nothing you have to be, or do, to earn love. When it is love, there is very little you can do to destroy it. If you can believe that, you will accept that:
· You can be loved even if you are not perfect
· You can be loved while keeping your course in life
· You can be loved without getting lost in love
Love is the most powerful human lesson you are ever to learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own.
Once you can understand that love is not something to be found, rather it is in you to be shared, you can love wholeheartedly without fear.
Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.
About the Author:
Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website http://www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.
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