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There wasn't ever any true forgiveness if that's going on. Now, I'm not talking about forgiving major, real breaches of covenant here as covered in a previous newsletter. There's a different concept at play here, and I think you get my drift. If you don't, email me right away for some coaching!
3) Never Compare Your Spouse To Others
Hey, guess what? If you have a partner, and didn't "settle", and KNEW THAT FACT from the start, then you've got a GOOD ONE.
After the "honeymoon" is over, and you have gotten to know your partner really well, it's easy (but pathetic) to forget that and incredibly tempting-and oh so easy-to start with the, "Why can't you be more like X?" stuff.
Well, resist that temptation and DON'T.
Beyond the simple fact that it betrays trust, makes both of you feel inferior to someone else (Did he say "both of you"?…uh, yeah I did.), and is just flat-out "dirty pool", it MAKES NO SENSE. Look, here's the deal:
Anyone you are comparing your significant other to is
1) someone you do not know as deeply, and are therefore more easily able to "idealize", and
2) someone you likely haven't known as long, and is therefore "novel" to you.
So, the comparisons aren't fair at all, let alone comprehensive. If you've got a good partner, rejoice-and don't make comparisons that will throw water on, if not outright kill your relationship.
If you don't feel you have a good partner, change that if you are unmarried and get to where you DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT instead; or if you are married, get the help you need to get the relationship to where it needs to be.
A few weeks ago I was talking to my brother on the phone. I asked him if he remembered what the minister preached about at his wedding.
Indeed, he did. Does that somehow correlate to the fact that he and his bride are still blissfully married three and a half years later-with an excellent prognosis for the future? I think so.
In six days my brother, who has since gone on to be a minister in his own right, will be the officiant at our wedding when Emily and I get married. I'm looking forward to the sermon.
About the Author:
Scot McKay's dating strategies are found at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/. Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips
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