Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That’s a tall order.
People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves.
Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we’d expect.
Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why we like another person.
It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted. Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives.
As Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed”.
It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other?
Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance.
If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people.
It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet. Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore.
It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities.
As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship. Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action!
Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for you.
About the Author: Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life-Coach, radio host, columnist, and the developer of ToolsToLife.com.