Q: I’m sick of men (women) who just want a brief affair. I want marriage. How can I find someone else who wants what I want?
A: That’s good – know what you want. Some sites let you choose an array of desires from email pen pals, to friendship, to marriage, so there’s one clue. Otherwise, the only way you’ll know is to ask and find out.
Q: What kind of questions should I ask?
A: Eharmony.com (http://tinyurl.com/2lyea ) has a long list of pre-selected questions you send back and forth that are good. Each time you have contact with someone and it works out or doesn’t, figure out the early clues and save yourself some time.
You’ll quickly learn that when someone asks you a certain question right-off, they’re not the one for you. Their initial choices reveal a lot if you’re paying attention.
Q: For example?
A: Three leading questions that send off good clear signals are “How do you feel about pre-marital sex?” and “How do you feel about traditional gender roles?” and “Are you willing to relocate?” These give a lot of information about what the person is interested in.
Ask yourself these questions, and there’s no right or wrong answer, it’s simply what you’re after: You’ll quickly learn when they ask XX question, press the delete button.
Q: How can I maximize safety?
A: Exercise normal caution. Some of the sites give you safety rules. Read them. Common sense would tell you to get to know someone before you invite them into your private email or home.
When you do agree to meet with someone, make it a public place in the daytime, go in your own car, and let someone else know where you’re going. Use the same precautions you would anywhere else.
Q: What should I avoid doing?
A: That you’ll learn through experience, aside from the safety precautions already listed. When something goes poorly, write it down and don’t do it again!
Q: Should I try someone who lives far away?
A: One of you has to have some money, that’s for sure. Most sites let you roam the world for a mate, if you’re so-inclined. If you’re after long-term commitment, are you willing to relocate? Is he?
How are your (plural) finances? LD romances require a lot of money and flexibility. You can easily run up a $700 phone bill in a month before you even get to the plane tickets.
Q: What else should I check for?
A: His pace should match yours. Do you like a man who asks permission to call you after 2 months or corresponding, or someone who looks your number up on the Internet and calls you the next day?