If only relationships could be as exciting and romantic as when we first met. Regain romance sparkle is possible.
You know, all that intensity, enthusiasm, excitement and, of course, sex.
I'm sure you've felt it:
hating being apart, even for a short time;
being unable to concentrate on anything else for very long;
and waiting to be together again.
When you are together, you hang onto every word, marvel at every part of your lover's body, and feel so wonderful, you smile all the time.
Does this all have to end?
Are relationships doomed to predictable and boring routines of shopping, preparing meals, doing the dishes, laundry, watching T.V., talking about work, taking care of the kids, fighting, and sleeping?
In fact, long term lovers can become even more enchanted with each other, since their passion grows from a deeper knowledge and fondness for each other.
But time alone does not help a relationship to flourish-it requires a willingness to take risks, and special, persistent attention.
Many couples love each other deeply, and genuinely enjoy each others' company, yet feel that the relationship is stale.
They long for some of the old intensity, romance, and spontaneity.
Others don't see the need for that intensity, or even believe that it's possible to regain romance sparkle.
They assume that intensity exists only at the beginning of a relationship, and that "mature love" is more settled and less exciting.
While how we feel toward each other certainly changes and evolves over the years, the truth is that our relationships reflect what we put into them.
Children can be so carefree and loving because they have lived for just a few years-a much shorter time in which to accumulate negative experiences and build up feelings of resentment, anger, and mistrust.
Relationships are similar to this.
In the beginning, we don't know each other very well, and aren't carrying around resentments from past interactions with each other.
As the years go by, these resentments accumulate. We no longer look at our partner with the same fresh, unjudging eyes.
It can help to look at our partner with a fresh look, let go of past baggage, and remember all the reasons we love her/him so much.
This means stretching past any resentments, and opening up to feeling and giving love more fully.
So, how can you regain romance sparkle?
Start out by thinking about your partner and all the reasons that you love her/him. Ask yourself:
what s/he means to you;
what it is about her/him that you love;
when was the last time that you told her/him how much you love her/him in a real feeling way;
and whether you have written her/him a love letter, or left a love note under her/his pillow or in her/his briefcase recently.