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Tune Up Your Relationship
by Garrett Coan

Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart?

Here are some ways you can make your partner feel appreciated again and prevent your relationship from becoming a casualty and remaining at the honeymoon romantic.

1. Treat your partner as you would your boss, best friend, or best customer.

2. Think about what your partner wants and give it to him or her.

3. Think of ways you can do the unexpected and be thoughtful. Remember how you acted when you wanted to win your partner over.

4. Pay attention to your appearance. Dress nicely; get into shape.

5. Express your thoughts carefully. Being married doesn’t give anyone permission to let it all hang out.

6. Spend regular time together alone.

7. Look for ways to compliment your partner.

8. Hug when you say hello and goodbye. It feels good and it makes people feel loved.

9. Learn and practice communication skills. Relating successfully to another person requires a set of skills that can be learned.

10. Be polite. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can forget your manners.

11. When you want something, say please.

12. When your partner does something for you, say thank you.

13. When your partner comes home after a day at work, greet her at the door and say hello. Ask how her day went.

14. When your partner leaves for work in the morning, say goodbye and “I love you” or “Have a good day.”

15. When your partner faces a challenge at work during the day, ask how it went when you get home.

16. During your evening meal together, avoid the temptation to watch television or read the paper or mail. Look at your partner and have a conversation.

17. If you want to make plans that affect how your partner will be spending time, check with him first and make sure it’s convenient.

18. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer.

19. When you disagree with something your partner says, pay attention to your response. Do you express your opinion without putting her down?

You can express your opinion assertively rather than aggressively.

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