The first three months of a relationship is the honeymoon period.
Everything is fresh and exciting.
After around six months, the couple tends to relax and good behavior wears off.
A woman gets to see what she’s really dealing with.
Before she introduces her new beau to her children, she needs to find out what his goals are, to see if his values and beliefs are consistent with hers, and really develop a friendship with him.
3. What is the best way to introduce a new boyfriend?
Once a woman decides to start dating, she should explain it to each of her children in an age-appropriate manner.
After she and a new partner have spent six months to a year together, she can start telling the children things about him, particularly what she likes about him or little stories about places they’ve gone together.
This way the children understand that Mom is still Mom, which is critical, but they’ll also see that she’s happier.
They will slowly make the adjustment that they may soon share her with somebody else.
Inevitably, the children will become curious about him.
They may ask to meet him.
I think it is wise to slowly incorporate the new partner into the family.
4. How should she handle it if the child resents the new relationship? Should she stop seeing the boyfriend?
Children will often resent a new relationship for the simple reason that they now have to share their mother with someone else.
A woman can reassure her children that even though she is going out, she is coming back home to them.
She should continue do the things with them she always did.
Before she even starts dating, it might help to hire a babysitter and use the afternoon to go shopping, just to get the children accustomed to seeing her go out every once in a while.
Observing the children’s reactions while the new man is around should provide some clues to other causes of resentment.
A woman should also gently ask her children why they don’t like her new partner.
She should remember, though, that some children may not know exactly how to express why they dislike someone.
It’s important to tread carefully.
A new relationship is stressful for the whole family.
If the children are really having a hard time with it, family counseling can get to the root of the problem, especially if all other avenues have been exhausted.
The most important thing a single parent can do is to treat her children the same way she did before she met the new partner.
5. Dating tips divorce women: Is it ever acceptable to allow the boyfriend to sleep over, or should the couple book a babysitter and get a room?
Get a room, unless the kids are at Dad's for the weekend.
Children don't need to see some stranger coming out of Mom's room in the morning (or their Dad’s, either).
A new relationship is exciting and the partners are certainly entitled to time alone, but a single parent must handle it delicately and deliberately.
Her (or his) behavior will instruct the children about man/woman relationships in ways they will carry around with them for the rest of their lives.
About the Author:
Terry MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beautiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com