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Love Could Be An Errand Away
by Toni Coleman

 

Don't wrap your arms around yourself as you stand or huddle in a corner when waiting/standing in a line. The eyes say it all; so let yours say "friendly."

Communicate to others that you are approachable and let them see that you are interested- if you are. What you don't say speaks volumes.

* Learn to be a good flirt.

Along with body language and communicating interest with your eyes, you will probably need to smile and have a few good lines available.

Rule of thumb - only approach someone who is reciprocating your interest through his or her non-verbal language.

Starting with a question is always a good move. Make it real, non-threatening and impersonal. For instance, you are in a sandwich shop grabbing lunch and you are standing in back of a very cute guy.

"Excuse me, have you ever tried the Italian sub here?" "It looks really good, but I hate it when they add too much oil." Safe, easy to answer and very open-ended.

This allows the other person to share their experience with the shop (or lack of) and to add any comments or ask a question of their own. If they do, respond back with something that offers them the chance to keep talking.

* Become a great conversationalist.

Yes, anyone can master this.  It's about focusing on the other person, deeply listening and offering interesting, upbeat thoughts and topics.

With a stranger, keep it simple. After the first exchange, ask them easy questions about themselves. Not too personal or probing. "So, if you come here a lot to eat, you must live/work nearby."

"I've been here a few times, but don't think I've seen you before." Or offer something about yourself. "I'm a vegetarian and this is the best shop for meatless sandwiches that I have found."

You get it - safe, pleasant ways to ask about them, share about you and keep the conversation going. "On nice days like this I often eat in the park down the street- want to join me?"

* Use common sense and take precautions with any strangers. He's very cute, but so was Ted Bundy. Never give out your home number, address or any personal information to someone you have just met "on the street."

Most people completely understand and agree with this kind of caution and would not be offended if you explained your need to only give a first name, work phone number or an email address. If this first meeting leads to an offer to get together again, accept by all means if it feels right.

 

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