Don’t you agree that many people settle for what they have, even if unsatisfying, because it’s just too much work to change it?
Those that I have coached all the way to marriage and beyond have been serious about getting married. They wanted it, they were willing to do whatever it takes to find and enroll the right partner.
They also do whatever it takes to maintain the level of passion and intimacy, production and appetite that are necessary to sustain a healthy, vibrant, satisfying relationship.
In other words, they do not assume that once you are in a “marriage” or “committed relationship” that IT will take care of itself.
One seemingly unrelated concept that has forever been an annoyance has to do with loan applications.
Bear with me on this. Whenever you submit a loan or credit application, the first response of the lender is to check your credit and your financial picture.
If it appears that you need money for any reason, the likelihood of approval for financing is almost nil.
However, if you appear financially stable with plenty of unused credit and a steady job and money in savings, every financial institution is clamoring to lend you money. So how does this relate?
It is my opinion, that love and relationship operate in the same way.
Let’s say you go to the love bank and ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, a serious one perhaps leading to marriage. The love bank manager takes a look at you and says.
You work too much, you spend all of your money, your credit cards are maxed-out, you have diminished self esteem and a broken heart
from the last one, you’re physically and emotionally bankrupt, and you don’t trust anyone. REJECTED!!!
Now, you are really in need of someone to save you so you continue looking at all of the B and C rated love lenders, bars, pick up joints, work, internet dating services, personal ads until you find someone who is as needy as you are.
You need someone to rebuild your self-esteem and reassure you that you are indeed lovable.
Although I have never been fond of credit reporting agencies and the use of their information by lending institutions, there is some validity in their strategy that is applicable to relationship coaching.
In order to be ready for a serious relationship, one must achieve the following:
1. Desire to be in relationship
2. Self – esteem. Know that you are attractive and have something to offer another person.
3. Financial stability. At least enough income to take care of your housing and basic needs and minimal credit card debt.
4. Work. A job that satisfies some of your achievement needs.
5. Vulnerability. Enough healing that you are able to share your authentic self with this person.
6. Love. An abundance for yourself with enough left over to share with another person.
I am not saying that you must be in perfect shape. What I am saying, however, is that you will attract a person who is your balance, someone who has the same or different issues in the same proportions.
If you are needy, you will attract neediness. If you have intimacy issues you will attract someone who is shut down.
So it is in your best interests to undertake a personal redevelopment plan prior to looking for a relationship.
Be the best you that you can be to offer to another person. This seems to be a great way to start the new year.
Funny, how it usually happens that someone who has been taking extraordinary care of themselves and not looking for a relationship suddenly finds him/herself in love.
Relationship coaching is life coaching.
Life becomes extraordinary when we discover that being absolutely committed to taking care of ourselves, leads to abundance in every aspect of our lives.
About the Author:
Buy my book http://www.HowToGetWhatYouWantFromYourManAnytime.com
Enroll in an e-course http://www.RomanceReentry.com
Request a consultation http://www.gettingwhatyouwant.com
e-mail me at Susan@gettingwhatyouwant.com
"I help people who want sacred intimacy in a hot relationship, get what they want from each other so that they can experience more fun, more sex and less bickering!"818-548-0849
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