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Romantic Interest or Powerful Glance?

by Kirstin Carey

If it appears that you need money for any reason, the likelihood of approval for financing is almost nil.

However, if you appear financially stable with plenty of unused credit and a steady job and money in savings, every financial institution is clamoring to lend you money.

So how does this relate?

It is my opinion, that love and relationship operate in the same way.

Let’s say you go to the love bank and ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, a serious one perhaps leading to marriage.

The love bank manager takes a look at you and says.

You work too much, you spend all of your money, your credit cards are maxed-out, you have diminished self esteem and a broken heart from the last one, you’re physically and emotionally bankrupt, and you don’t trust anyone. REJECTED!!!

Now, you are really in need of someone to save you so you continue looking at all of the B and C rated love lenders, bars, pick up joints, work, internet dating services, personal ads until you find someone who is as needy as you are. You need someone to rebuild your self-esteem and reassure you that you are indeed lovable.


Although I have never been fond of credit reporting agencies and the use of their information by lending institutions, there is some validity in their strategy that is applicable to relationship coaching.

In order to be ready for a serious relationship, one must achieve the following:

1. Desire to be in relationship

2. Self – esteem. Know that you are attractive and have something to offer another person.

3. Financial stability. At least enough income to take care of your housing and basic needs and minimal credit card debt.

4. Work. A job that satisfies some of your achievement needs.

5. Vulnerability. Enough healing that you are able to share your authentic self with this person.

6. Love. An abundance for yourself with enough left over to share with another person.

I am not saying that you must be in perfect shape.

What I am saying, however, is that you will attract a person who is your balance, someone who has the same or different issues in the same proportions.

If you are needy, you will attract neediness.

If you have intimacy issues you will attract someone who is shut down.

So it is in your best interests to undertake a personal redevelopment plan prior to looking for a relationship.

Be the best you that you can be to offer to another person. This seems to be a great way to start the new year.

Funny, how it usually happens that someone who has been taking extraordinary care of themselves and not looking for a relationship suddenly finds him/herself in love.

Relationship coaching is life coaching.

Life becomes extraordinary when we discover that being absolutely committed to taking care of ourselves, leads to abundance in every aspect of our lives.

About the Author:
 Kirstin Carey is an award-winning speaker and consultant and Principal of Orange Tree Training & Speaking Group. She works with organizations on effective and persuasive communications. Her company also has a special division which focuses on helping women advance and succeed through more effective communication skills without having to communicate like a man. To find out how Kirstin can help you, call (800) 380-6520 or go to www.powHERful.com