In the topic of secrets to getting married,
As a young girl, I developed a dim view of marriage.
Most of my friends' mothers tiptoed around their fathers. (not on the list of the secrets to getting married!)
When I was nine years old, my friend Karen's aunt actually sat us down and gave us tips on how to get a man & keep him happy (it didn't escape my notice that she made dinner, mopped the floor, & changed diapers while her prince slept on the couch.
I never even made eye contact with the man; he remained comatose for the length of our acquaintance).
As I got older, magazines offered advice on how to get a man to commit & how to decipher his feelings (expecting the guy to express them would be out of question).
I got the message: To be a success in life, I needed a man. That they were a lot of work was the price I had to pay for being a woman.
Like most little girls, I was sold from birth on the wedding fairy tale:
the giant ring,
the honeymoon in the sun.
But, while the wedding looked like fun, life beyond it looked like the job from hell.
So it's no surprise that when I got into my 20s I attracted the wrong men.
They all feared commitment or had some sort of emotional entanglement that prevented them from starting a real relationship with me.
After many years & much soul searching, I discovered that the men weren't the problem.
I was the problem.
I attracted men who could not commit because I didn't want to commit.
Deep down I believed marriage would bore me at best, kill me at worst.
But, still, a small part of me did want to get married & wanted to believe that lifelong happy relationships were indeed possible.
I determined what I wanted in a relationship, what would make me feel secure, at peace, & bring me joy. I wrote down a list of the qualities my perfect husband would offer.
Since I had a history of dating men who disappointed me (liars, cheaters, guys who just stopped calling or showing up), I knew what I qualities I didn't want.
I wanted somebody loyal, loving, reliable, successful, & fun (most married people are bored out of their minds, so 'fun' was key for me).
I wrote an affirmation:
"I am happily married to a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man,"
"I want to find true love" & wrote it 25 times a day with feeling (putting on a CD that really got me going facilitated the process).
Within a couple of weeks, I felt a shift inside myself.
I believed that I could marry a man who'd make me happy.
I believed I could be myself without worrying about him cheating on me, abandoning me, or smothering me to death.
Within several months I attracted the man I married. That is probably one of the best secrets to getting married.
Fifteen years later, we are still in love & having fun.
Yesterday, May 2, we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.
You can attract & marry the man of your dreams, too:
1) Determine what you don't want
2) Determine what you do want
3) Manifest it by focusing on it & by writing an affirmation about it
4) Say it out loud while you're in the shower or some other private place (no need to blurt it out in the company break room)
5) Keep it up for at least 30 days. Be consistent
6) Notice the changes within yourself
7) Notice the changes in the men you attract.
It worked for me, & it will work for you.
Use those secrets to getting married.
Come on. Go for it.
About the Author: Terry Hernon MacDonald, Shelton, Connecticut firstname.lastname@example.org - www.marrysmart.com
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract & Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com
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