Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses When Dating
Came the day I fell under the magnifying glass and was found to be ‘wanting’ just like everyone else, in tiny, little inconsequential, fly-speck ways.
· Eino always called his divorce “leaving home.” I’d never heard a grown male talk that way, but I ignored the implications.
My friends said he was like a kid, but I just couldn’t see it until I became the surrogate “mom.”
· "You know how those fraternity parties are,” said Nita, referring to her college promiscuity as if it were common place. I had no idea what she meant, but I found out later on.
She assumed casual sex with just about anyway was, ‘well, you know how it is.’
· Though she was always on her best behavior when we were together, Dalida referred to her secretary, her maid, and her hairdresser as “the help,” and demeaned them in front of me.
· Our dates were frugal, because I’m on a budget and Annie seemed to enjoy them.
I missed that all her conversation was about how much things cost, and how she noted, as people passed by, the Gucci purse, or the Rolex watch, or the nasty “fake” jewelry.
Hard as it is, try and keep your head about you – that is, don’t get “flooded” by those wonderful chemicals to the point where you aren’t paying attention to the little things.
That’s all it is – little things.
Watch how they treat all the other people in their life. The Spanish also say, “What goes around, comes around.”
You will have learned, or will be learning, that it’s best to nip things in the bud. Yes, people can change. And yes, at middle-age we’ve all had our ‘learning experiences.’
Be mindful. Observe. Ask questions. It can save you from looking up one day and saying, “It was there all the time. Why didn’t I see it?”
“Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery.” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr., “Life’s Little Instruction Book”
About the Author:
Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc , helping people like you negotiate the turns of midlife transition. We bring the power of Emotional Intelligence to your life through coaching, distance learning, eBooks and Special Reports. Susan is the author of “How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence” – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .