·Afraid of not being liked, loved (Giving and receiving love is a top priority – “I want to him to share his life with me.”)
·Afraid of making a mistake (You don’t want to disappoint him so have a difficult time saying no to requests – an easy target for men who use women.)
·Afraid of getting hurt (You want to feel secure in a loving relationship. If he wants to be just a friend, you may feel hurt because you expected more.)
Remedy for Feelers: Realize your unsolicited help, such as bringing over meals, might be considered interfering with his privacy and won’t be appreciated.
Become your own best friend rather than a needy, desperate woman looking for a man to rescue her.
Men enjoy being with someone who is interesting. Show your natural enthusiasm for living – your fun side.
When Visuals are reactive, they become frustrated and depressed. Their biggest trap is perfectionism. “I like you but you need to change in some areas. If you love me, you’ll be willing to make those changes.” This desire for the “perfect” man is fueled by their fears:
·Afraid of not being able to live up to one’s own high standards (“If we work at it, we can be the perfect couple.”)
·Afraid of running out of time (“I visualized my life as being married and the older I get, the less men there are to make this happen.”)
·Fear of the unknown (“I want to feel secure about my future – to be able to visualize it as a comfortable life.”)
Remedy for Visuals: Let go of perfectionism. You can easily be hurt by criticism because you view what you do as who you are. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you make mistake or if a relationship didn’t turn out as expected.
Learn to accept yourself as you are.