Part 1 - The Obvious Signs
Many single women have encountered these types of men and had their heart broken at least once or twice, sometimes habitually!
You may have even known that these men had problems committing.
But you convinced yourself you would or could CHANGE them!
It's the biggest mistake we make!
The outcome from thinking that?...
Why do we, women, put ourselves through this pain?
We need to learn to recognize the early signs & effectively avoid getting involved with these men in the first place.
How do we do that?
What's the plan?
Well, for starters... use your mind (try to leave your heart out of this for now), and really SEE the CLEAR signs first.
Some of the "not-so-obvious" signs will be discussed in part 2 but here are a few clear ones:
Make him fall deeply in love with this
1. Does he actually SAY he's not wanting to commit in so many words? i.e... States he NEVER wants to get married, doesn't want to settle on one woman, wants to date different people, etc...?
Don't get trapped into thinking he will change his mind once he finds out how wonderful & beautiful inside you are (and I'm sure you are)!
Usually it's just not going to get there!
Save yourself the grief.
It doesn't matter how much you like him!
Move on quickly NOW!
2. Does he obviously get nervous, closed, uncomfortable, anxious or even angry if you mention anything about a commitment, getting engaged, marriage, your future together?
If he does, this is probably the MOST EVIDENT sign.
They don't always state it.
MOVE ON NOW AND SPARE YOURSELF THE POSSIBLE PAIN!
3. Is he unreliable about keeping dates or appointment times (being late)?
Does he cancel the dates or not showing up at the last minute?
This does NOT include work-related appointments which I will discuss later on.
4. Does he stay overnight at your house or does he always have an excuse to go to his home, even in the wee hours of the morning?
Many commitment-phobic men get "claustrophic" & feel a need to get away from anything that is looking like a permanent commitment.
Claustrophobia & commitment issues will also be discussed further in part 2.
5. Does he have trouble displaying affection or "togetherness" towards you in public such as...
walking next to you instead of walking ahead of you,
giving you short kisses in front of other people, etc...
6. Have you met his friends and family?
Does he include you in activities with them?
If not, you may start to think that he may not want them to think he's with you on a PERMANENT basis...
see where I'm going here?
7. When talking to other people does he ever use "we, us, xxxx and I, etc.." or is it often "I and me"?
8. Does he own anything that stands for a "commitment"? I mean as a home, pets, major purchases such as a car, boat, etc?
Often men who have commitment problems in relationships also have trouble committing in other parts of their lives... they "rent" even if they can afford to buy a house for example, giving an excuse as something like "I don't know if I'll want to stay in this area so I don't want to buy a house yet since it's a somewhat "permanent" COMMITMENT.
Many commitment-phobics don't want the responsibility and COMMITMENT of what a pet requires. Major purchases... does he own or lease a car?
Sometimes, even major purchases such as a car is a huge COMMITMENT for these men. It gives too much of a permanency.
It is just an additional suggestion since I've known commitment-phobic men who HAVE owned their own car, and even a boat and a house.
9. Have you caught him "cheating", telling white lies about it or have you suspected he sees other women even if he says he's not?
I'm not talking about paranoia here... be realistic and reasonable. Try to curb any jealous feelings you have if you are a jealous person by nature.
10. Is he often "unavailable" and you don't know where he is or what he's doing?
Does he often have excuses for not spending time with you such as working late, meetings, friend's birthday, etc...? Make him fall deeply in love with this
While some of these excuses may be legitimate, if he's doing this frequently it could be a sign that things are "too close for comfort" for him and he wants his "space". While these are just examples of the more obvious early signs, this is definitely not a complete list.
I will discuss other signs in part 2 which will be the somewhat scary, "NOT SO OBVIOUS" signs, including men who are even OVERLY ATTENTIVE to you from the very start!
These men can really play with your emotions. Be sure to read part 2 coming up next week! We will also be discussing how we can deal with these issues and prevent more heartache in the future.
UNTIL NEXT WEEK...
Be true to yourself and try to keep your sense of humor!
Reflect about these things and don't do anything radical at this point!
We're just getting started here and there is much more to be discussed.
Go to part 2 on Commitment Phobic Men
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