We still consider ourselves to have failed if we break up a relationship, or worse, if we are the one who is jilted.
This, in spite of the fact that we don’t bat an eyelid if our friends change career, move house or emigrate no matter how many times they do it. But change partners?
There’s something wrong with you!
The fact remains, though, that broken relationships lead to broken hearts, and broken hearts hurt. Pain leads to fear, and fear leads to either a total giving up, or an attempt to half commit – with resulting unsatisfactory relationships all round.
So what’s the antidote?
Two things, really. First, love yourself. If you can feel good about the person you’re guaranteed to wake up with every day of your life, no one can hurt you, because that’s your inner strength.
It wouldn’t matter how many times someone told Arnold Schwarzenegger he was a weakling, would it? He would always know that wasn’t true.
Secondly, get clear, really clear, about what you want. And then be honest about that. Do you really want to be with someone with young children?
Do you mind if the lovely person you’ve just met has an almost zero libido?
Or an insatiable one?
Also be flexible with yourself about this. Your wants and needs are going to change.
They won’t be the same three months after the end of a relationship as they will be when three years have elapsed. So you have to learn to listen to your inner self, and not only hear it, but trust it and act on its advice!
What this amounts to actually reduces to an amazing and simple formula for finding and keeping true love. Want to know what it is?
Get to know, like and love the person you spend every day with. (For full details of who that is, check your nearest mirror!
That’s it! That way, you’ll have bundles of love to give away, you’ll be a joy to be around, (which makes you irresistibly attractive), and during those times when you find yourself alone, you’ll be delighted to have your company for a while.
After all, who wouldn’t?
About the Author:
Trevor Emdon is a senior Mental Health & NLP practitioner who graduated from Anthony Robbins’ Mastery University in 1999 with full honors. He trained in metaphysics with Gill Edwards. His latest book, “How to Love Again After Your Heart’s Been Broken” is now published and is available now from http://www.lulu.com/content/111153. He will be running workshops on the subject in spring 2005 He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org
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