The issues in front of a single parent are far from encouraging. It is not only an arduous task to fend for the child all by yourself but the trauma and memories of the past haunt like a nightmare. And dating definitely is not in the agenda or may not even feature in the priority list.
Let me reassure you upfront that dating is most surely appropriate & a topic worth giving your precious time for.
You owe it to your self
Agreed that parenting is one of the most wonderful tasks for an adult. The child, will always remain a bundle of joy & a great reliever of many adult stresses & tensions. But come to think of it, you need not confine yourself to that single activity only !
You are something more than just a parent. You are thinking, dreaming adult who has romantic ideas, sexual desires & who has an implicit need for meaningful adult company. If you ignore that, you are losing a vital part of yourself too.
You also owe it for your children
Dating or seeking company in the opposite sex is not only natural & healthy for you but also for your children. They come to know you as a happy, complete parent, whether mom or dad, and not a sulking, depressed individual. They feel better to see you enjoying yourself in the company of someone else, other than their other parent.
More over, you are setting an example in front of them, to follow, when they grow up & look for someone to date.
Dating Tips for the Doting parent
So now you realize the importance of dating despite & in spite of you being a single parent. Even then, important questions could be bothering you, like how to approach it, how to answer the kids’ curiosity, etc. I have compiled important dos & don’ts which may help you in becoming a safe, happy & successful single doting & dating parent !
1. Do not encourage a constant stream of new comers in our house. Do the necessary introductions to only those people who you presume will be more or less regular visitors to your house.
2. Do not break the concept of dating to your children all of a sudden. Gentle does it. Explain the idea gradually by mentioning that this is something very natural, which every adult is expected to do.
3. Do not allow your kids to accompany you on every single date. Do it for yourself first. Dating is a time which you have reserved for yourself.
4. Do not feel overwhelmed by your children’s concerns about your dating. Do listen to them & tell them firmly that this is an area where they are not supposed to take a decision.
5. Do not try to keep your dating life confidential & ask your kids to keep this grand secret to themselves.
Do make it easy & uncomplicated for them. Make it look natural & comfortable with frank & sincere communication. And ensure that you ex partner is also part of this exercise as otherwise the children get torn between loyalties & guilt.
About the Author:
Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. His desire is to motivate & support single men, women & couples to overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the loving relationships & lives they really want. For more information please visit our site for up-to-date free personals reviews & practical online dating tips & ideas.