Ironically, the most romantic & important step you take as a couple - your wedding - can also put your relationship to the test.
Many couples will be so stressed out & pressured by the demands of planning your wedding & reception that they'll either
a) fight or
b) have no time to be alone together.
First of all, it's normal, especially as the date of the wedding approaches. You're a little worn thin from all the planning, getting anxious about the major life changes that lie ahead, and are possibly having to deal with family members getting involved, and quite honestly, getting annoying.
Here are some ways to keep your cool, or reviving those flames of passion that moved you to get engaged in the first place.
1. At least two hours a week, have a conversation or date that doesn't revolve around the wedding. Watch a movie, play a sport, go to a flea market ... anything that will take both your minds off the Big Day.
The first person who slips & mentions the wedding has to pay for the date. (Or you can think of a naughtier punishment, wink wink.)
2. Conversely, spend at least an hour a week planning the wedding together. Tally the expenses, compare it against the budget, go through your wedding worksheets to find out what you still need to do.
While there's usually one person who takes the lead in the wedding plans (usually the bride), you still need to keep each other in the loop. This lets you take into account his preferences, and also avoids any resentment that may build because he isn't "sharing" the responsibility.
3. If you are annoyed with one of his friends or family members, tell him how you feel, but let him deal with it. (Same thing applies if he's annoyed at yours.)
And if he doesn't want to deal with it, get angry at him, not his crazy aunt/mother/best friend. It is not yet your place to confront these people, and even if it were, they'd be more likely to listen to him than to you.
4. While you should be honest to each other whenever you're angry or upset, never turn your grievances into a war of "my family vs your family". Keep discussions focused on the specific, concrete problem at hand.
For example, if his mother's driving you nuts because of the way she keeps adding to the guest list, don't start a fight about how she has no respect for your needs, or your right to invite only the people you like. Instead, take it as is - a need to control the size, & costs, of the reception - and leave the emotions at the door.
5. Watch your stress levels. When you notice that you are getting crankier & moodier, or you're having trouble sleeping at night, it's a sign you need to relax.
Sign up for one of those bridal facials & spa treatments: they'll relax you, take your mind off things, while simultaneously preparing you for the Big Day.
About the Author:
Lesley-Ann Graham runs WeddingTrix.com - a valuable wedding planning resource with articles, tips & advice to help you plan your perfect wedding. The Bride, Groom, Best Man, Bridesmaids & Groomsmen can find it all at http://www.WeddingTrix.com
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