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Should I Leave This Relationship?
by Garrett Coan

 

How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to a relationship?

In any intimate relationship—especially in a marriage—it’s not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.

Signs of Trouble

There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.

If you recognize any of these signals in your own partnership, you may have some work to do to get things back on track.

1. Your life priorities have changed significantly. Major life changes often force people to reconsider what’s important, and this can make a once-healthy partnership lose its bearings.

A near-death experience such as a serious accident or illness, being unexpectedly fired from a job, or losing a family member can cause anyone to reevaluate his or her life and decide to make some changes.

Everything looks different after such an experience, and some things lose their meaning.

When this happens, these new ways of seeing things must be addressed, since it’s unlikely that such changes will just disappear.

2. The arrangement still works, but the passion is missing. Lots of doomed relationships manage to work—for a while. But when neither partner has any genuine enthusiasm for the relationship, it may be in trouble.

3. You no longer trust your partner. After a partner has broken the bond of trust, it can be difficult to get it back.

If your partner has had an affair or was irresponsible with a large amount of money, it is understandable that you feel angry and hurt.

Over time, these wounds may not heal.

Broken trust can cause serious harm to a relationship, and, if it is not healed, the relationship may not recover.

4. Your partner’s lifestyle or values clash with yours. It is difficult to sustain a long-term relationship when you and your partner do not agree on some of life’s most basic things.

If you want to make and save a lot of money, but your partner seeks a simple life and would be happy living in a small house with few luxuries, this is a potential problem.

If your partner seeks excitement and wants to be around people most of the time but you are basically a loner who prefers solitude, you may find yourselves growing apart.

You may have been attracted to each other in the beginning because you brought each other some balance, but, over the long term, the very things that drew you to each other may doom your relationship.

Deciding to end a relationship can have enormous implications.

If you are married, have children, own a home, and share finances, leaving your partner can be very complicated and will affect everyone in the family.

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