“I don’t understand your uncertainty.
You say that you flip over me me but you don’t want to go a step further in our liaison.
What’s wrong? If you really adored me, you would climb that step.”
Pop culture wants us to believe that Love conquers all.
We have all been influenced, as children, to a story or two, where there is a Princess and her Prince Charming who are confident that with only the strength of their love they will live happily ever after.
That belief takes inception in our heads and develops undesirable weeds.
Naively, it’s tinting our decisions when choosing a partner.
I came to suspect that Love is just not enough.
Make him fall deeply in love with this
Passion is volatile. And desire needs to be nourished.
It takes Commitment; with a Big C.
Does that affirmation triggered an anxiety attack?
All the Commitment Phobics, who are reading this, must maybe have a shortness of breath.
According to the book "He's scared, She's scared" from Carter & Sokol, there are 5 components of commitment:
Good Intentions: It is an evolving willingness to make to make the relationship work by putting the necessary main zeal and assiduity.
There is no injustice or imparity to be felt by either partner.
Monogamous: Being sworn to one partner helps persist the love alive instead of contaminating it with anger, discontentment or humiliation.
Your liaison stands on a durable ground to flourish emotional satisfaction. You obtain regularly grace and support from your partner when you will need it.
According to John Gray (Mars & Venus), sexual energy is a sacred one.
An observation has shown that there might be a correlation between monogamy and prosperity; in the 1950's the CEO of the 500 Fortune companies were all in a monogamous relationship
Being monogamous is similar to putting money at the bank for tough times.
Open Ended: It's to have the sound confidence that you will make it work indefinitely. It's all about feeling secure in the prospective of future then a feeling of horror.
Responsible: It means many things.
Not promising more then what you can deliver, like promising that you will live together or have children one day and never come to apply it.
Also, it is not holding back emotions that you can give like being generous and caring.
It is also remaining sensitive to your partner’s needs and feelings.
Not to run like a bat out of hell just because you're scared.
Realistic: See and accept your partner weaknesses and imperfections.
Your partner has fault as you do.
You have the opportunity to appreciate the qualities that offsets that.
Don't be blind as a bat.
One partner cannot fulfill all of your needs.
Commitment Phobics can go on with you by getting married, have kids and still not be committed; when the anxiety occurs it is taking over reason.
Your partners withdraws, becomes silent, passive, mysterious, hides, or even worse, is unfaithful.
Committed relationships don't build on a click of the fingers.
It's difficult to ultimately find one and to keep one.
You need to have personal abilities (acquired or not) for commitment and a good self-esteem.
Those commitment qualities have to be present in both parties to lead to emotional fulfillment and satisfaction, and to remain Happy as a King.
Wishing you great luck !